I sat completely astounded as I saw my dear friend ask for Soy sauce and proceed to flavor her plate of Biryani with it. My instinct was to stop her and I believe the feeling resonated around the dining table with all our fellow Indians staring at her systematically smother India’s pride and joy with dashes of Soy sauce!!!
“It needs more salt!!” She said defending herself from the stares and glares. My girlfriend Y was Japanese and had been living in the Netherlands for many many many years. She was married to an Indian man and they have a young son Z, who also preferred to top his Biryani with the aforementioned sauce to the sheer amazement of his Dad, who had cooked the Biryani with great love.
“Why can’t you just ask for some salt instead of the Soy!” He asked throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.
“Because I want Soy sauce.” It was as simple as that.
They continue to live together in frustrated harmony.
*******
A few weeks later saw a similar treatment being meted out to a plate of delicious Mexican food cooked by an Indian friend of mine. Her Dutch partner piled up his plate high with enchiladas, rice, beans and then it was topped off with great relish with almost a tub of Calvé mayonnaise. He then dug into his plate in excited anticipation of each glorious mouthful, which he proceeded to consume with pure child like delight.
She looked on, “I wonder why I bother cooking! I should just boil everything and you can put the damn Mayo on it!”
He chomped on.
My thought was ‘this relationship won’t last long’. It had been only a couple of months anyway that they had been dating. If he didn’t start showing respect for her efforts and being heard on top of it, this wasn’t going anywhere.
They have since separated.
*******
I was on both occasions, of course, astounded as well as fascinated. Being a purist when it came to different cuisines, I prefer to maintain its authenticity. Why don’t people just stick to their own cuisine if they want to ultimately strip the plate in front of them of its identity? Is it because they want to try something new and yet remain in their comfort zone?
I have struggled for years at our own home where if I tried anything new, as in different from Indian food, my husband would salt and pepper everything and eat it with pickles and chilies if he found it necessary. Moving to Europe from India meant whatever he ate was bland, not spicy enough. Though I must say, he is happy to try out anything new, never hesitates in that respect but at home it was different. He had all the ingredients at hand to change the flavours and make it his own.
So what is it that makes us do this? Our thirst for new experiences and cultures takes us away from home. We travel to new destinations, trying out everything that is appetizing to the mind, body and soul. After a few days of that we are back home seeking the familiar, the comfort of predictability. In our case looking forward to the Dal and Chawal, translated literally it is lentil soup and steamed rice, the comfort food of Indians. There are as many recipes as there are types of lentils.
As expats living in different countries, we look for grocers and shops where they keep ingredients and produce that we have grown up with. Looking and looking at every nook and corner street, seeking that little feeling of home abroad through familiar food till we succeed and breathe a sigh of relief.
In 1997, when we first moved to Amsterdam there was just the one Indian grocer and Indian spices were not easily found in supermarkets. I feel that due to that we took in and started trying out cooking more and more different European cuisine. We went all out and bought French, Italian, Spanish, British cook books. Every weekend we went shopping, picking out different recipes that we wanted to try out and made an evening out of cooking and dining in anticipation. Of course, once in awhile there would be a twist in the tale and a smattering of some spice that was not really in the recipe.
Nowadays, with at least 5 different stores in our neighbourhood keeping the full range of not only spices, but vegetables and a whole range of ready-to-eat food, and the local supermarkets also catering to the ever expanding Indian population, our choice is endless. The result is that we eat Indian food more often and yet when we cook any other cuisine we stick to the recipe and do not dilute it. Is it because we know that we can have our comfort food when we want to and don’t need to add our own twist to every dish we make? I don’t know. All I know is that we do seek comfort in food.
deenarratives 